My bizarre linguistics addiction wants to lick this poster to suck up the wordnerd goodness.
someone mentioned april fools today, and it reminded me that last year a couple of radio DJs got taken off the air and almost faced felony charges because they told their audience that the local water supply was contaminated with “Dihydrogen Monoxide” and alot of people panicked
Dihydrogen - (two hydrogen)
Monoxide - (one oxygen)
some guys almost got arrested for telling people there was water in their taps.
im so sad
ill never be happy
a party sure why not ill just sulk around an- WOAH
SHE GOT DA BOOTY
imma dance with her
*dancin wit teh juliet*
dafuq are you
AYYY LOOK I FOUND DAT LADY'S HOUSE
OMG HI I REMEMBER YOU
yeah its me hey wanna get married
dont you think its too soon
HEY YEAH LETS GET MARRIED TOMORROW
AWW YEAH I BET THIS PUTS ME ABOVE MERCUTIO AND BENVOLIO IN MAN POINTS
FRIAR MARRY US PLEASE:
idk and ROMEO WEREN'T YOU JUST SULKING OVER ROSALINE LIKE YESTERDAY
ok fine ur married
*some time later*
WELL SLAP MY BUTTOCKS AND CALL ME A MONTAGUE IS THAT ROMEO
excuse you dont talk bout my friend like that
shut up mercutio *stab*
WAAHAHAH IM DED *he die*
oH NO IM DED AHH *he die too*
ohmygod why did i JUST tell you yesterday about fighting
no ur banished
HWWHWHHAAAT YOU BANBISHED ME
*runs to friar* IMMA KILL MYSELF*
no i have plan just go to mantua ok
FRIAR HELP THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I KNEW FOR LIKE 1 DAY JUST GOT BANISHED IMMA KILL MYSELF
NO JULIET I HAVE A PLAN you drink this potion you look dead you be put in capulet tomb until you wake up and romeo find you and you run away together
*goes home and drinks potion*
hey juliet rise and shi- OOOH MY GOD LADY CAPULET COME HERE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
wha- OH NOO OH NO okay lets throw her in the tomb of dead people
*in da tomb* zzZzzZZzzzZ *not actually dead just sleepin*
AYY YOO ROMEO I GOTS NEWS FOR YA
OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND POISON MYSELF BEFORE LOOKING INTO THE SITUATION AT ALL OR CONTACTING THE FRIAR OR ANYTHING
*breaks into the tomb of dead capulet people*
oh my god its juliet wow she doesn't even look dead
but im sure she is
*yawning* YAWWWN oh i can't wait to see my rome- WHAT DAFUQ
IT'S ROMEO NEXT TO ME
*grabs sword and stabs herself*
oh yeah and romeo also killed Paris in the tomb by the way forgot to add that b/c apparently killing tybalt wasn't enough
*comes in cell*
*strokes montagues face* brother
YOU ARE THE HERO GOTHAM DESERVES
this makes me so uncomfortable
this is my figilydiddleign favourite i cannot pu t it into words poor ian
If you see something like this, DO NOT CALL AN EXTERMINATOR!
Call a beekeeper, they can relocate the hive instead of killing them. Bees are dying at an alarming rate, please do not contribute to that! They are so important for our ecosystem!
yo figilydiddle this i aint gonna call no beekeeper i’m moving before i’m dead
I’m going to call an exterminator so the exterminator can kill them. I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing that there are less bees in the world.
No bees = no food.
No food = no life.
Congratulations on destroying the world.
Save the bees. They’ll thank you by pollinating what will be your food.
You dense motherfigilydiddleers
Bees are literally the most important insects and if they become extinct due to the sheer IGNORANCE of so many or just because people think it’s cool to “kill it with fire” or anything like that… WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE BECAUSE THERE WILL BE NOT A SINGLE FOOD PRODUCT LEFT OF EARTH THAT IS MADE FROM ANY KIND OF PLANT. Now sit down and think long and hard about that.
All right, Tumblr, I’m gonna have to stop you before you sprain something.
The decline in honeybee numbers is alarming. We definitely want to figure out what’s causing it, and reverse it if we can. However, only 30% of the food you eat comes from bee-pollinated crops. And in fact, worldwide, 90% of all food energy comes from crops that do not depend on pollinators.
Humanity is not facing an extinction scenario because of Colony Collapse Disorder, so everybody just take a deep breath and relax. Here is a complete list of crops that depend on the humble and industrious honeybee for their survival:
- Kante (I don’t even know what this is)
Here is a PARTIAL list of crops that require a pollinator insect but not necessarily the honeybee; and this is an important distinction, because Colony Collapse Disorder is a thing affecting HONEYBEES, but when scientists say “oh, we need bees to make X happen,” they are referring to ALL BEES. Most bees are just fine.
- Potatoes (bumblebees); the most important crop on this list. Potatoes provide more calories to the human race than any crop that isn’t a cereal crop.
- Apples (orchard bees, bumblebees, solitary bees, hover flies)
- Strawberries (bumblebees)
- Chocolate (midges)
- Carrots (wasps and flies)
- Onions (solitary bees)
- All gourds, including pumpkins and squash (squash bees)
ARE YOU READY FOR THE MONEYSHOT? Here is a VERY VERY INCOMPLETE list of foods that don’t use ANY form of insect pollinator. Most are either self-pollinated, or are pollinated by the wind.
- WHEAT, RICE, AND CORN: put together, THESE THREE CROPS ALONE account for two thirds of all human consumption.
- Millet, Barley, Sorghum: add these three to the three above and we’re now at 70% of all calories and 90% of all protein consumed by humans.
- Sweet Potatoes, Yams, and Cdumbumbleava
- Cane sugar (YOUR CANDY SUPPLIES ARE SAFE)
- Cabbage, Lettuce, Spinach, Asparagus, Brussel Sprouts (all self-pollinators)
- Tomatoes, Peppers, Legumes of any description (so your 97 different kinds of beans), Eggplants, Peanuts, Oranges (all self-fertilized)
- Bananas, Pineapples, and ‘seedless’ anything; so oranges, pears, grapes, watermelons, etc etc etc (all parthenocarpic)
Most of the rest of our food energy comes from animal products, like milk, eggs, cheese, and, of course, meat. Naturally, these don’t rely on bees either.
So calm down, okay? Take your pinky finger off the shift-key and stop screaming about how we’re all going to starve to death because honeybee numbers have been dropping. By all means, be nice to bees, and get beekeepers to remove any unwanted hives! But we are not teetering on the brink of a bee-related apocalypse scenario. The biggest threat to our crops worldwide is climate change. Not bees.